Message to the Twitterati

Overuse of old internet memes such as ‘i can haz’ or ‘pwnage’ suggests a lack of original expression. Too much repetition is tedious.

Learn to spell the word ‘the’. Most of you are not teens or twenty-somethings. Stop faking it.

I’m really not interested in the fact that you’re going to bed. Really.

It’s nice that you are looking forward to something but know that it’s okay to keep some things to yourself. Just go to bed.

We know it’s boring at the airport but there is no need to inflict your boredom on us. As a general rule, your travel plans are of no interest.

Telling people how many followers you have is just sad.

Pontification is no substitute for original, witty, unusual or profound thought.

It’s a fine line between hero-worship and sycophancy. Get a grip.

Go ahead punk; Twitter that I’m snarky.



  1. My pet hate at the moment (one of the many) is retweets. If I wanted to know what that person was saying, I’d follow them… I could go on, but I won’t 🙂

  2. Tweeting that you are going to the gym, then when finished, tweeting how sore your muscles are or how good you feel after your workout.

    Guaranteed to get you unfollowed 🙂

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